I know which selling point I'd use. And if you're going to take that approach, you might as well go all the way and make Grand Theft Camel. After an interlude where you help the three wise men murder the ghost of Zarathustra on their way to Bethlehem (we need a Christmas carol about that), Baby Jesus and his folks flee to Egypt. It encourages family discussions about the true story of our Creator, who loves us and shows us RESPECT, who sent His Son Jesus to RESCUE us, and who promises to RESTORE this broken world one day. It's built with a modified wrestling engine whose character creation tool allows you to create people ranging from Nephilim who would tower over NBA stars to little people short enough to run under Jesus' legs and catch a glimpse of his holy trinity. Jesus in Space features Captain Paul Hammer, which is what you get when you combine an apostle with an '80s TV cop; Lieutenant Stu Dent, whose name appears to be some sort of clever reference that I haven't worked out yet; and Shelbot the Overly Brainy Robot, which is a really judgmental name.

Some errors are minor oversights (Jesus asks you to bring him something to be turned into wine, allowing you to witness the amazing miracle of wine being turned into wine). But there's one thing few developers have tried, and that's letting gamers play as the original action hero, Jesus Christ. Let's move on/escape to planet Whammo.

", Lightside Games Often without a plan, she's not afraid to improvise! That's ... not a thing, but the name makes it clear that she's not planning on cutting down trees with it. Copyright ©2005-2020.

Take your kids into the world of Lightgliders where young student leaders strive to rescue the Gliddles from the Machines that are invading the land of Glideon. On the other hand, it's a game where you can mind control Jesus and make him kick midgets in the face. Undaunted by the fact that he's the subject of widespread mockery, the developer went on to make a sequel about the life of Muhammad. Your goal as Jesus is to convert six disciples to your cause. She can't summon the effort to go to the even closer pomegranate trees either, so you need to pick fruit for her. John 3:16. Chick saints and their jewelry, am I right, men? 5 Real Deleted Bible Scenes In Which Jesus Kicks Some Ass, Guy Who Claims To Be Second Coming of Christ Arrested In Russia, 5 Insane Facts That Will Change How You View Christianity, 'Tangled's Heroes Destroyed Their Own Source of Magical, Natural Universal Healthcare, Spicy Peppers May Help You Live Longer, Preliminary Research Finds, No One Will Ever Stop Messing With The Han And Greedo Scene, 5 Bizarre, Less-Talked-About Problems with the Police, Virtual Furries Flock to VR Four Seasons Total Landscaping, According To 'The Mandalorian' The Galaxy Went To Crap After 'Return Of The Jedi'. It's great for our family!". Perfect for youth groups, Vacation Bible School events, Sunday School games, and after-school activities! Unless I walk around it, or step over it, or ... wait, I have to grab the ax and chop it up? Lightside Games      Â.

If your assumption is that the game uses the standard RPG model to focus on storytelling and dialogue while keeping combat to a minimum, you haven't been paying attention to this article. Like Mary does: Yes, the first game of the trilogy, Baby Jesus Christ RPG, begins with Saint Mary buying a battle saw. Don't tell me, I want to get it myself) into a watery sacrifice. Journey of Jesus: The Calling is the Facebook game for people who think FarmVille's a bunch of secular hippie nonsense.

This isn't the tutorial easing you into the game. She uses her gifts of hospitality to serve others and help them on their missions.

Joseph looks baffled by what he's seeing, and I don't blame him.
The Lightglider Adventure Series offers engaging comic book stories that point to biblical truths. Thanks for connecting! MDickie "Hi, we fish for a living. From South Korea, KWAN developed the armor used by Lightgliders. They love it, and I love that I can leave them to play and not have to worry!

And, for a dad, that's incredible; it's a game-changer. Dmitry Kalinovsky/iStock/Getty Images

Home Country: United StatesPersonality: Strong and wisePassion: Seeking answersTheme Verse: II Timothy 3:16Keyword: THINK. Guys, I don't think this is going to have any animal clitorises at all. Sunday Software It's a little-known fact that Jesus had serious, serious hearing problems. When you finally reach the odd moments involving Jesus, it's hard to take him seriously, because look at him: He doesn't look like the son of God being tempted by Satan in the desert; he looks like Zach Galifianakis being tempted into a strip club by Ryan Reynolds. MDickie Home Country: South KoreaPersonality: Humble and inquisitivePassion: Inventing new techTheme Verse: I Corinthians 15:58Keyword: HELP. Give him a really nice fish? Join now and learn how you were made to shine! You do nothing but spend the whole game trying to keep Israel tidy, like it's one giant living room.

"Lightgliders allows my kids to engage in the digital world, while teaching bigger, better, positive, Christ-like lessons. Come on, get your shit together. But to be fair, plenty of classic video games aren't visually appealing. From canvas to marble, geniuses like Michelangelo, Raphael, and the other Ninja Turtles endeavored to recreate the serenity, grace, and holy power of God's son. Working behind the scenes, he wants to solve the blight problem. Mm, yeah. But you may not find them in the mainstream gaming outlets that sell X-Box and PS3 games. WholeTone Games


The second game in this legendary trilogy features adult Jesus, Simon, Mary Magdalene, and Judas gallivanting about the Holy Land, while the climatic finale sees Jesus being crucified and going to heaven ... and then descending into hell to kick some serious sinner ass, in a very literal and bizarre interpretation of the Harrowing of Hell. But then the developers also claim that this is the world's first video game about Jesus, a claim the very existence of this list proves false. Read More. Use this Bible game to teach about self-worth and social media “Likes” addiction. This version of the gospel is basically a recap of a World of Warcraft raid. Anyway, the first planet they visit is the underwater world of Vet, where players are challenged to explain the concept of baptism to a people who know nothing but water. She uses her leadership gifts to run the Academy. Home Country:   ?Personality:   ?Passion:   ?Theme Verse:   ?Keyword:   ? Upon your return, the quest giver will be overwhelmed by the miraculous delivery time of God's courier and pledge their allegiance. ", "I have five kids ages 5 to 12. "Pick up the pebbles that are literally at my feet for me." Hey, do you have any cookie dough?". Now I understand why the Bible's always going on about enduring suffering. has a game failed so spectacularly to deliver on the mental images the title put in my head. It sounds like a game show, but it's actually a world of robots that Stu teaches about the Last Supper. An army of Machines is attacking the land of Glideon! Unfortunately, Final Fantasy games are largely about stabbing and setting fire to hordes of monsters, while Jesus only killed, like, three cactuars and a tonberry (that we know of). The game actually has a full-on battle system, albeit one that apparently decides fights at random. And then Jesus teaches you kung fu. From the United States, MARLON is a warrior scholar. Where to Find Christ-Centered Games Your Kids Will Love . Little help?" Important History Question: Where Did Jesus's Foreskin Go? You accomplish this by aiding people in their time of need, by which I mean Andrew or John or Billy (were they all disciples? "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!" From the United Kingdom, TOVA goes on purposeful adventures to help others.

Lightgliders is a cross-platform world of Christian faith, fun, and games. Multiplayer competition with up to 4 players Lady, if you're too lazy to feed yourself, you have problems that baptism isn't going to solve. How did the creator of the Jesus Christ RPG Trilogy approach this noble task? From being able to drown baby Moses in Bible Adventures to losing your good Christian soldiers to the perils of contemporary music and Arabs in Left Behind: Eternal Forces, Christian video games have long and hilariously struggled to preach through the world of gaming.It's hard to talk about love and tolerance while also encouraging players to kill everything in sight. and after three days he will be reimaged.". We're told it allows you to experience the life of Jesus in a "brand new fun way," because nothing says fun and innovation like the gaming platform that's built for crappy knockoffs and lazy cash grabs. Bootleg Game of Thrones downloads? While you'd assume his move set would be limited to "loud, distracting crying" and "shitting himself," Jesus calls down angels to buff the party with defensive powers. The part of the Bible where Jesus alters his molecular structure to levitate comes right before the part where he teaches his disciples to use the power of their chakras to create swords from thin air, slow down time, and control other people's minds -- the part that exists only in the brain of the developer, right next to the proof that JFK was assassinated by Robo-Hitler. So, like every Facebook game, you have to either come back hours later or throw down real money to keep playing.