It can be as simple as cake and punch in the church basement. Inviting guests for a 15 minute ceremony and then a pat on the cheek to go home is rude. It's not a required thing. It's also not required to invite people you don't want there. Having a mix of high-top tables, low cocktail tables, lounges, benches, vignettes, and seating pods will create a comfortable atmosphere where guests can mix, mingle, and easily find a seat so they can enjoy the culinary delights you've so thoughtfully planned." "That way, guests can enjoy the passed drinks, small plates, and noshing stations without feeling like they need to lay claim on a particular table. cocktails and appetizers, brunch). Ideal but not realistic. Here, discover expert tips for planning an elegant and fun wedding without dinner. I just won’t do it. A wedding reception without tables and chairs will just lead to a lot of awkward and uncomfortable standing. I agree that I would have to have something small. The only alcohol will be champagne. Just make sure you let your guests know in advance there won't be a full meal, so they can plan accordingly. If you're having a brunch wedding, make sure it's not too early in the morning. His family doesn't have a lot of money and my siblings don't have a lot of money. Carolyn Hsu has extensive experience creating content for women's lifestyle brands, having written for RealSelf, NewBeauty, and Glam.com, in addition to Brides. "It can be a lot more challenging to fill your dance floor during the day since most wedding guests prefer dancing in low lighting over dancing in the daylight," she explains. Inviting guests for a 15 minute ceremony and then a pat on the cheek to go home is rude. Thanks you guys. Incorporate Whatever Traditional Wedding Elements You Want, 3. Then just take everyone out to dinner afterwards. BTW, it doesn't have to be at the JOP just because it's small. Not cool .Lots of hard feelings to this day and that was 3 years ago. Any other ideas, I dont know what my options are???? Is it selfish to just secretly get married and not have anyone there? His mom was actually really good about the whole thing and said that its our day and everyone will work around us. "For a dessert reception, kick off your event around 8 p.m. so that guests have plenty of time to have dinner and primp beforehand," says Lehman. "Typically, an event that begins around 11 a.m. or noon, works for everyone's schedule." I will not pay thousands of dollars to book the church and for a reception. Not having a reception is fine so long as there are no guests at the wedding. Jump in the fray! Even with your immediate family, a dinner at a restaurant following the ceremony would be nice. Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. Receptions are supposed to be all about celebrating you and your then husband and the new life you will share together. fyi, the suggested cake/punch reception would not be acceptable during a mealtime. The more information guests have, the better prepared they will be to enjoy the reception exactly as you have it planned.". It's okay to not want a reception, but don't plan on having a big wedding (or really, anything other than JOP) if you don't want to throw the party. If you're planning an event without a plated lunch or dinner, it can be easy to forget that having adequate seating is essential to making sure your guests are comfortable. If I were in your shoes, I would plan to take off to a pretty beach somewhere with just the two of you, or maybe invite immediate family, have a quick ceremony and then celebrate over dinner. -[Wedding Recap]-. If you get married without any guests, no reason to thank them, so reception not required. If you're planning an event without a plated lunch or dinner, it … Don't Forget Seating at Your Reception. Commenting is the best way to get involved. Don't Forget Seating at Your Reception. Im thinking maybe end of September of 2011 and about 110 guest. You can have a reception and NOT have dancing and all of that. In Response to Is it terrible that I don't want a reception?: You don't have to have a reception, but depending on your wedding it is considerate to provide the guests with sort of "gathering" (i.e. Be Very Clear About the Meal Situation on Your Invites and Wedding Site, 4. We did find a place that will broadcast the ceremony live online and we're looking into it because I know our decision disappointed a lot of people. By using Brides, you accept our. As far as "secretly" getting married, how would that go over with your parents? FI and I will just go to a nice dinner after the ceremony and that will be it. You can't have one without the other. Jump in the fray! A wedding without dinner, however, is not necessarily a wedding without food—but removing a traditional, seated dinner leaves you with endless possibilities, from a whimsical candy buffet to tapas stations with delicious foods from all over the world. You did however, only say not having a reception, not having a real ceremony. Just because you're having an alternative style wedding doesn't mean you have to forgo any traditional elements if they're important to you. God kills a bunny every time someone asks about honeymoon registries. Don't do a "secret" wedding. The problem with all of the family traveling is just funds. and if people love you and support you, they will get on board. "Hosting a dessert reception, cocktail party, or wedding brunch is becoming a popular (and cost-effective) alternative to hosting a seated dinner style event," says Christiane Lehman, owner of Truly You Events. Get Our Wedding Planner App On Your Mobile Device. I also, quite clearly, have no desire to spend the money on a wedding. If … i think a lot of women get carried away with traditions to celebrate the institution of marriage, and lose sight of celebrating what is true to them and their partners. Plan out your start time thoughtfully. Unfortunately, the current circumstances are anything but normal due to the coronavirus outbreak — which means now, a wedding invite may be more likely to stoke your anxiety. I agree with a lot of the posts here, a reception or better stated "gathering" or some sort would be appropriate unless you are only having your immediate family members at the ceremony and even then a little party to celebrate would be nice. One of the advantages of having a brunch reception is that people tend to drink less during the daytime, so even if you're serving mimosas, your alcohol tab will be much less than if you're having a nighttime fête. You were thinking of a traditional wedding with 110 guests followed by "dinner". If you're having an evening wedding without dinner, you want to make sure to give your guests time to eat before heading to the wedding. it's not at all selfish for this moment to be just what you two want it to be. The same goes for speeches, toasts, and the cake cutting. I too don't like attention drawn to myself more than I have to, I cannot dance to save my life, I didn't want to do the bouquet toss/garter thing, I dread going to wedding receptions myself because they last forever, I HATE all DJs I come across and think they're some of the most annonying people I've ever met, and I find it impossible to go into debt over one day - especially when the FI and I are trying to get a new house soon for us and our 6 year old son. But keep in mind that to make the ceremony legal, you do need at least 2 witnesses. 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Whether you choose to have a daytime soirée or an evening dance party, make sure you choose a time that feels appropriate for the kind of event you're having. Thanks for sticking with us for a full year. So I've recently become engaged so I'm starting to think about the whole wedding thing and I DO NOT want a reception. What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests. Christiane Lehman is a Philadelphia-based wedding planner and the owner of Truly You Events. As far as having two, in the instance where you have families that live in different places, that would be completely fine. don't be afraid to do something different. I dont think it is "selfish" to not want a reception. Do You Have to Host a Brunch the Day After the Wedding? And not only that but I would have to have two. It's only costing us about $1600 for about 90 people... nowhere even close to 25K! It's okay to not want a reception, but don't plan on having a big wedding (or really, anything other than JOP) if you don't want to throw the party. if you just want a small, private ceremony (jop or otherwise) with the two of you, and wish to send out an announcement after- that's perfectly acceptable and not at all unheard of. Receptions are a way to thank your guests for spending the day with you, for being a part of your wedding. I will happily pay for a marriage liscence and get married by a justice of the peace (hell, I’d accost a minister at the mall food court if I thought he’d sign the paperwork). Two small gatherings in different states for different families so they can feel like they celebrated with you will make all the difference. In Response to Re: Is it terrible that I don't want a reception?: I agree that you could just have a very small wedding with only immediate family and closest friends. Not only will this approach save you money, it can also allow you to get really creative—the sky's the limit. It doesn't mean you have to have drinking and dancing and special dances, those are just things some people do. We are having a very small late-afternoon ceremony (under 16 guests), and just having an a la carte dinner for our guests afterwards at the dining room on site. If you choose not to have one, it is not a selfish choice, but be prepared for your family and friends to be a little bummed; I know mine would be. Let your guests know what to expect upfront. There have been times during my planning, when I have thought to myself "uggh...we should just elope," because it would be so much easier, but then I thought about how happy I am going to feel on our big day surrounded by all our friends and family when we start our new life together. I was thinking maybe your traditional wedding followed by a "Dinner" at a nice restaurant, then taking a limo downtown staying at the Ritz Carlton for the night and immediatly getting on a plane the next day to Hawaii for our honeymoon. For that reason, consider having a dessert reception. Have you considered a destination wedding? After we all found out, his mom started planning a big backyard BBQ type deal just so we could MEET his new wife as a reception and he said "screw it, don't give us a party, just give us the money you would have spent on it".