They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. It has literally saved our lives on a number of occasions. “Pastor,” Johnny says, “I heard you say today that our bodies came from the dust.”, “And I heard you say that when we die, our bodies go back to dust.”, “Yes, I’m glad you were listening,” the pastor replies. Nevertheless, he landed a big job painting a church. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, ‘If you don’t be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and he will have to start his sermon all over again!’  It worked.”. He walked up to the boy and said, “Well, where did you get Him, my fine friend?”, The little boy replied, “I got him from the church.”. Moses was once a basket case! Funny Christian Stories Home Page Was Compiled By Peter O'Neill. About a week later one of the assistant ministers who had attended the seminar decided to use that joke in what was his first sermon to the congregation. He'll Give Us The Grace To Get Through It! Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. One little girl was scribbling so intently that the teacher asked what she was drawing. “Don’t doubt it for a minute,” returned the old man, in an even tone. His son asked, "What happened to the flea?" Some clever and The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. '. “I see… And that must be Mary, Joseph, and the Baby Jesus,” Ms. Terri said. Great Peace Have They That Love Thy Law & Nothing Shall Offend Them Ps 119:165. Here are nearly 80 Inspiring Christian stories and over 40 other inspirational stories that you can share with your friends through emails, Facebook, or other social media. A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. Pancakes: 7 Pastor Dave Charlton tells us: “After a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year-old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. The good news is that we have the money to pay for it.” (appreciative murmers all round), Reverend: “The extra bad news is that it’s still in your pockets!”, A few minutes before the church services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking. What made ya come?”, Murphy said, “I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that  hat. hilarious Christian Jokes that I compiled Drawing a picture of Jesus A kindergarten teacher was walking around her classroom while her students drew pictures. Click Here To Leave The Funny Christian Stories Home Page & Return To The Home Page, For A Great Laugh... Click On Any Of The Links In The Funny Christian Stories Home Page, Under a heaven sent annointing… with a peace that passes all understanding, How could they do that??? After church, Johnny tells his parents he has to go and talk to the minister right away. So, I was going to leave after Communion & steal McGlynn’s hat.”, The priest said, “Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn’t steal McGlynn’s hat. It washed all the paint off. As Tertullian (c. 160 – c. 225 AD) said… "The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the Church! The lesson for the day was from Genesis. Inspire21, The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their. You know the old saying… "With Every Need God Will Supply". And not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. “Why do you ask?”, “Well you better come over to our house right away and look under my bed, ’cause there’s someone either comin’ or goin’!”, It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. Murphy said, “I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that  hat. Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite bible stories. All the way home in the back seat of the car the boy was quiet. Later, that afternoon, Johnny started feeing sick, and his side began to hurt. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. Reverend Clive Morgan was completing his homily in St John's Church about the dangers of alcohol and the need for moderation and temperance. Well sometimes what He provides is the ability to smile in the face of everything… knowing He is going to do what we cannot. We should be more concerned with the Rock Of Ages, instead of the age of So Satan walked up to the old man and said, “Don’t you know who I am?”. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt." It worked like a charm. Recently a large seminar was held for ministers in training. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter. Title: Vote your favorite stories to the top. He announced at the end of the sermon in a loud, clear voice, 'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river.' Amid the thunder and lightening, there came a loud voice… “REPAINT,” it boomed. A man's character is like a fence. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed between the pages. A Last Thought... With Every Need... You know the old saying… "With Every Need God Will Supply". SHORT N SWEET HUMOROUS WRITINGS A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. It cannot be strengthened by whitewash. He said, when he was younger, he thought that the doxology went: “Praise God from whom all blessings go, Praise him all preachers here we go (instead of creatures here below), then praise him above the heavenly host, praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.” He said he thought that because, when everyone sang that, often the preacher leaves the pulpit and walks out! Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is Some touch the heart or teach a moral lesson. A cheating painting contractor had been skimping by thinning his paint excessively. Copyright © 21st Century Christianity. “I’m the pastor’s mother,” she replied indignantly. The funds were really needed for a family who was sick and very desperate... and we just had a God given conviction to stick to our guns. Story Editor February 27, 2010 Animals, Christianity, Dialogue, Elderly, Humor, Jokes, Lessons, Life Leave a comment 9,870 Views. Once when we were taking a large financial gift to a mission house in a poor neighborhood of a very dangerous country, we were confronted by a man with a gun and he told us to "give him the money"… He grabbed the bag but I wouldn't let go. After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, “Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. Church Humor . Well life and the word teach us that it is God's Spirit and Anointing that make it possible. He’d never been to church in his life. “No, Father, after ya talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,’, Tarra & Bella: The Elephant and Dog Who Became Best Friends, Ain’t No Horse or Mountain High Enough – True, A Tribute to Charles M. Schulz (1922 – 2000), Wounded Vets take train to the Army-Navy Game, Greatest Headline in the History of Sports Journalism, Kirk Gibson’s pinch-hit HR wins World Series game, Carl Joseph – An Inspirational Sports Story for the Ages, One-legged wrestler ends career with national title, perfect season, A Lesson in Faith – The Charles Blondin Story. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church, every Sunday. He layed down on the couch, and after about half an hour, his mother came over and asked him if he was feeling okay. The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. Amusing and Good Humoured Religious Jokes. She was puzzled by Kyle’s picture, which showed four people on an airplane. The thing that shocked the crowds in Rome when they marched the Christians into the arena to be Martyred... was their Praise and Faith… Joy & Trust. Whoops… We'll this is a Christian Comedy Page...& We Done Gone Ta Preachin'! But the Catholic church came up with a very creative strategy! Among the guests were many well-known motivational speakers. These are motivational stories that are family friendly. As the old missionary to China said when asked what was the greatest nessesity of a missionary… He Said… "The Ability To Laugh When You Feel Like Crying." Spread a little joy by sharing something fun with your friends. “Do you happen to know who I am?” the woman inquired. Beat the Christmas rush, come to church this Sunday! This funny page ; will make you laugh, laugh and laugh some more. The squirrels liked the slide and unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week. He was almost done when a major storm blew up. The man hemmed and hawed then finally lowered his gun and said, "your right… I can't steal from God!" At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The bad news is that the roof needs repairing. As he shyly approached the pulpit one Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. He said, “Not really – I think I’m gonna have a wife.”. “God opened up Adam’s side, took a rib from him, and created Eve from it,” was what really struck Johnny. A golden-haired, four-and-a-half-year-old girl was among those who raised their hands. His father asked him three times what was wrong. A bit skeptical, the teacher asked if she could really quote the entire psalm. A priest and a rabbi are in a car crash and it's a bad one. Don't give up. The front of the church always fills first now. An elderly woman walked into the local country church. due. Hope Herein You Will Find A Smile & A Bit Of Faith To Help You Face The Trials Of Life. “You really don’t want to do that”, the usher said, “The pastor is really boring.”. Anyone can honk. Little Johnny went to Sunday school one Sunday. Wonderful Amusing Words. amusing thoughts on being a Christian, Good Jokes and Funny Short Stories and Tales. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. What changed your mind?”, Murphy replied, “Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn’t need to steal McGlynn’s hat after all.”, With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile & said; “After I talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell?”, Murphy slowly shook his head. Life has many choices, Eternity has two. They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide. love without giving. “No, Father, after ya talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,’ I remembered where I left me hat.”, Reverend to his congregation: “We have good news and bad news. Under a heaven sent annointing… with a peace that passes all understanding I just smiled and said, "you know, we are Missionaries and this is God's Money… meant to help someone in Real Need". Johnny’s Dust. What's yours? So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. He was notably very nervous and getting to the microphone he said loudly, “The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of another woman that was not my wife!” His congregation sat shocked.